The Family under stress

      "Each of us will have our own Fridays -- those days when the universe seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death -- Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come."  these are the words expressed by Elder Joseph .b Wirthlin concerning the family's challenges. Whether we live alone now or are part of a family, we also recognized ourselves in this quote that was beautifully expressed by Elder Wirthlin.

     Another thing that this quote helps us realize is that challenges are part of life. The rich, the poor, the black, the white, the bound, the free, and everyone is subjected to challenges. In our study of the family and its way of functioning, we will today help understand how stress in families can be tuned to bring something extraordinary that will make the family rise towards its eternal purpose of having joy in this life and the life to come.

      Many factors can be instigators of stress in families. Among them, we have a lack of resources such as food, and money, a family member distancing himself from the family unit, etc.  All these bring stress and anxiety which can affect the family negatively or positively. Yes, I am pretty sure that you are asking yourselves how something as devastating as anxiety and stress can make a family grow positively toward its ultimate goal. To answer this question, Reuben Hill comes about with his ABCX theory. In the Double ABCX Model, family stress is defined as an imbalance in demands (the A factor: stressor event, related hardships, prior strains), and capabilities or resources (the B factor). The family's definition (C factor) of the imbalance influences its impact. When the family is unable to balance demands and capabilities without making a change in its structure and interaction patterns, a crisis (X) occurs. To make it simple, Hill implies that families are subjected to actual events. the response to the events is shaped according to the resources the families have which can be church community, extended family, friends, housing, etc. The availability of these resources can make it easier and in some cases change the perspective the family has concerning the occurring events. It can considerably help strengthen family boundaries and unity by coping. Coping is much more than just getting by. It is an act of providing safety to others when they are about to get drowned. In addition, it helps establish a sure ground for people to stand on. We cope with life challenges when we strengthen the connection while there is stress.

 Now, I am going to enumerate concrete activities that couples and families can do together while coping in the right way. 

- Kneel, pray, read scriptures together and give a big and general hug while being in a prayer circle. These expressions of love at first will seem insignificant but will teach everyone to trust others and to give their best to make sure that the feelings felt are still kept.

- Tell your spouse every day how much you love them. you can affirm that while helping with the dishes or even ironing his shirts. Say it to him and then act accordingly.

- Don't talk to extended family members and friends about the problems of your couple. The more someone does that, the more he or she is attached to the person he or she talks to, and the less the person will be attached to the spouse. It is so vital that this pattern of the family circle should be preserved. 

 There are thousands of ideas we can think of when it comes to coping effectively. Coping in the right way is undoubtedly the best way to confront stress and everything this life can be. The ideas will be refined as we understand the true meaning of coping. Alongside, Our Heavenly Father's love will reach us every time we need it to give us the relief we need and the love we are entitled to receive which will be the strongest shield ever against the hardship and stress of this life.