Transitions in marriage

         Last week, we discussed the fundamental steps to take to prepare for a happy marriage. We pointed out how critical it was to establish the right dating pattern to deal with couple challenges when they arrive.  In today's article, we will focus more on some of the transitions families go through during their marital Longlife experiences and the types of behavior couples need to adopt to avoid marriage friction. 

     Whenever I search the meaning of the word Transition on Wikipedia, it amazes me to see how this word, no matter its context,  describes the act of leaving a place, a state of mind, or even a device that I will call A to upgrade to something more refined, more ennobling and more fulfilling that I will call B. In other words, it is the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another. Although this seems to be a good thing to do, the process is not of small effort. the act of transiting comes with a lot of discovery and research, a lot of trials and failures that lead eventually to persistence and endurance because it is worth it. Likewise, couples in marriages have and need to have many transitional stages throughout their lifetime experience to attain the feeling of fulfillment in this life and the blessing of being heirs of God in the life to come.  Now that we have been able to establish that Transitions happen in marriages, let us enumerate some typical transition points that families go through. Among many, we have: Couples moving in together,  the birth of a child, the child starting primary school and then secondary school, the child leaving home, the spouse retiring from work, etc.

Before diving into what needs to be done to avoid incomprehension and arguments between couples that lead most often to divorces, I would like to commend those that are married for their good and constant effort to avoid arguments when the transition point start. I have been observing many married couples and I have been able to understand that they can resist the temptation of having arguments because of the love they have for their partner.  About this observation, we underlined this week in class four types of love namely the Storge, the Philio, the Eros, and the Agape. Each type of these has a specific area it focuses on. Storge love is the mutual love of parents and children; wives and husbands. it relates to natural and familial love such as the love between a parent and child. Philio love on the other hand is brotherly love. This type of love is most often shown within close friendships. Thirdly, we have the Eros love which focuses on sexuality. The word Eros is often used to express sexual love or the feelings of arousal that are shared between people that are physically attracted to each other. The last love style is the Agape love. It is the type of love that involves faithfulness and commitment. this is why love, specifically the divine love known as agape, is so vital to any successful relationship, especially marriage. without it, and without intentionality over time, all relationships eventually succumb to entropy and mediocrity. Dissipation and disordering of love is our natural course when we are left to our own devices. The undergoing explanation of these four types of love has enabled us with certitude to reveal the type of love one has to have for his partner to cope with his partner. The Eros Love in our particular example is of not much utility since when tension arises, partners need to show understanding, patience, and sometimes brotherly love to make the other person know that we love them. I invite you to do some research about the interconnections of the four types of love and you will be amazed by how well they blend well to give the safest and most satisfying home we all look for in this life.