Gender and family life.

               It is a pleasure to write to you once more about a family-related subject you may or may not have encountered during your life. The title of this article throws some little tips on what we will talk about. 

             Gender and family life have always been at the center of human lives. Everything we do and become is shaped by how we have been trained in our families. In last week's article, we were able to explain that every family has its own rules, and those rules after constant repetitions become family culture. In connection to that, gender and family life explores how gender, sexuality, and, kinship relations shape individuals' experiences. 

         Before diving into exploring this week's topic, it is important to define the differences observed between females and males to know how family influence can affect the gender and the personality of people. Although exceptions apply to both genders, the male gender is more likely a provider. he is naturally aggressive, competitive, stronger, and protective. whereas the other gender is more likely a nurturer. Women are more social, communicative, nonverbal, and cooperative and have attention to detail. These facts are well-known in society and stand as unwritten laws that everyone knows about. As such every judgment of someone's personality will be done according to these laws. For example, take a boy that does not play with his boy's toys and instead plays with girls' stuff. He sends automatically a red flag to his peers who will think that that boy is different and will label him as such. The same example applies to girls. The question to ask ourselves now is to know how society's judgment will influence that boy's or girl's behavior. How will that boy or girl feel and what resources will he or she have to go against that label. All these questions point me straight to a particular group of people who have been victimized because of who they are. I am talking about the LGBT community. Honestly, I must confess that before studying that subject in class, I was doing what the majority of people do. And today I would like to repent and say that it is not because they seem different from some of us that we have to judge them. They are children of a loving Heavenly Father who loves them.  He does love us and does not cast them out because they choose to become LGBT. Now that my conscience is clear before God, let us analyze some of the theories that make people become GAY or part of the LGBT community. In class, we mentioned some interesting factors that could possibly make people GAY. We enumerated Trauma, reactive experimentation, curiosity, preferences, etc. It is interesting to note that all these possible reasons were mentioned by classmates who had family members or friends that have experienced one of the situations enumerated. The second interesting point is the connection between every reason or most of the reasons. The views and judgments of people have been the first trigger to them joining the LGBT world. Someone is more likely to believe that he is different and do things differently if the only thing he hears around him is that he is different. I am not trying to say however that a family member becoming gay is totally the fault of relatives who have judged him. It is also clear that we have exceptions for children who came into the world and felt naturally different. What should be then the attitude of relatives when children don't fall on the traditionally masculine or feminine behavior? do parents have to react harshly or hurt the child because he is this way? the answer is obviously No. Brother Williams our professor shared an experience of a child being shouted at every time because his dad thought he was playing with dolls. Brother Williams who was a therapist at that time helped the father understand that instead of shouting at his son, he should play with him and let the son play the role of the dad in the game to introduce and make the child get to be a man. although it was a small piece of advice, he helped the child to change and learn to become who his dad has always wanted him to be. 

             To conclude for this week, it is important to remember that what you say or the way you see or label people around us can contribute hardly to their improvement or their loss. I would like to advise any of us going through this type of condition to use the first power available to teach which is love. with Love and the acceptance that people are different we understand, teach and change the way people think about themselves and the world they live in.